Introduction: What are You In For? The assumption that guides what you are about to read is simple, yet for some reason it is almost always left unsaid. And when it is said, it is hinted at in terms that are far too polite and too highly polished. As a result the hints are not heard. But this assumption is far too important for us to settle for window-dressing, for sugarcoating. So here's the hard truth: if you're a leader, you're in the battle of your life. Nothing comes easily, enemies outnumber allies, and the terrain keeps shifting under your feet. If you've already tried the "easy" solutions, you have found that they come up empty. I know unvarnished truth like this is never easy to hear, but it's the only truth that will help you lead with inner confidence.
And you need confidence because nothing is more difficult than leading. Nothing else in life compares to the hardship of firing a friend or telling people that their work was necessary for a season but their employment has now reached an end. The graduate school I lead has been threatened with lawsuits, and my reputation has been sullied beyond repair by disgruntled employees. At times, the cost of leading an organization doesn't seem that different from the slow, insidious attrition of trench warfare. Yet I have stumbled on moments of glory in the process of leading, moments that come from remaining in the game despite the apparent absurdity and incredible personal cost. At times all systems have hummed harmoniously but only after days, if not weeks, of metal grinding against metal. At other moments complete failure has been imminent: the graduate school came within inches of being closed down because an absurd law was reinterpreted by a state employee who had just taken over the job from her predecessor. (The predecessor, in fact, had worked to help us succeed.
) A stay of execution came at the last moment, giving us a chance to mount a defense that eventually prevailed. Grace. Loss. Fortune. Hardship. Victory. Sometimes the worst seat is the best seat in the house, and it comes as a result of leading. I have been asked many times if I would repeat the process of starting a graduate school.
I've said, "Never. I don't hate myself that much." Yet while I have no regrets, I do have much grief and brokenness to show for the effort. The bottom line is simple: it is in extremity that you meet not only yourself but, more important, the God who has written your life. It is through leading that I've known the greatest need for a deep, personal, and abiding relationship with Jesus. I wouldn't trade that for all the money, fame, glory, and honor in this life. I suspect the same is true for you. You may wonder how you arrived at your leadership position.
You may wonder even more if you can continue in it. You may also be at war with wanting to be successful no matter the cost. But if you will ponder the call of your loving God as the core of your labor and life, I believe this book will guide you to a new and profound joy in leadership. Leading is very likely the most costly thing you will ever do. And the chances are very good that it will never bring you riches or fame or praise in exchange for your great sacrifices. But if you want to love God and others, and if you long to live your life now for the sake of eternity, then there is nothing better than being a leader. THE CORE ASSUMPTION Since we're talking straight, let's cut to the core assumption upon which everything else in this book is built: to the degree you face and name and deal with your failures as a leader, to that same extent you will create an environment conducive to growing and retaining productive and committed colleagues. Sometimes the quickest path up is down, and likewise, the surest success comes through being honest about failure.
This is definitely not an easy path, but consider the alternative. If you don't have the capacity to confess, acknowledging in real time how much you mess up, the result will be a workplace that becomes more cowardly and employees who grow more self-committed, more closed to you and to one another, and more manipulative. They will look out for themselves, not for you or the organization or their colleagues. The leader's character is what makes the difference between advancing or de-centering the morale, competence, and commitment of an organization. The truth about confession is that it doesn't lead to people's weakness and disrespect; instead, it transforms the leader's character and earns her greater respect and power. This is the strange paradox of leading: to the degree you attempt to hide or dissemble your weaknesses, the more you will need to control those you lead, the more insecure you will become, and the more rigidity you will imposeprompting the ultimate departure of your best people. The dark spiral of spin control inevitably leads to people's cynicism and mistrust. So do yourself and your organization a favor and don't go there.
Prepare now to admit to your staff that you are the organization's chief sinner. But there is more. Much of the current literature on leadership is swelled with the notion of self-disclosure, the importance of authenticity, and the need to own one's weaknesses as a means of bolstering credibility. To connoisseurs of leadership literature, this is nothing new. What I am calling you to, however, is far more than the mere acknowledgment of your shortcomings. I'm suggesting an outright dismantling of themin the open and in front of those you lead. THE CHALLENGE Leadership is far from a walk in the park; it is a long march through a dark valley. In fact, leadership has been described as wearing a bull's-eye on your chest during hunting season.
Crises erupt at the least opportune moments, many times the result of poor preparation, a lack of planning, or faulty execution. Your people will keep messing up just like you do. And, yes, every crisis involves people, will be managed by people, and will be resolvedor intensified and prolongedby people in your organization. Few crisesand even fewer of your routine decisionswill be simple. Complexity is the byword of our day. Each decision you make is a jump into the unknown, creating challenges that cost your organization time, money, and possibly morale. Few leaders escape the second-guessing or, worse, the adversaries that materialize in response to their decisions. Many times conflict escalates into assaults and betrayalwith the heartache that comes when confederates turn against you.
No wonder leaders feel exhausted and alone. No wonder they suspect that other members of the team are withholding the very information they need to make better decisions. No wonder the intensity of the challenge causes so many to burn out or quit. I won't be so naive as to say the long, dark valley of leadership can be avoided simply by learning to name your failures. In fact, new and, at times, more difficult challenges will arise simply because you begin admitting your status as your organization's head sinner, and the normal challenges will remain whether you confess your flaws or try to hide them. But realize that most leaders invest too much capital obscuring their need for grace, which not only keeps their staff at arm's length but also subverts their trust and steals energy and creativity they could otherwise devote to the inevitable crises that continue to arise. And, perhaps even more dangerous, hiding failure prevents leaders from asking for and receiving the grace they most desperately need to live well, not to mention lead well. THE WORST REASONS TO HIDE Why is it so rare for leaders to name their failures? What keeps leaders trapped in a siege mentality, cut off from the data they need in order to make better decisions? Three primary reasonsfear, narcissism, and addictioncome immediately to mind.
If you are convinced that none of these affects your ability to lead, keep reading. You very likely will change your mind. Fear Most leaders avoid naming their failures due to fear, and fear is a completely understandable motivator. If a leader were to openly acknowledge that he is frequently mistaken, that he is deeply flawed, and that he will continue to miss the mark on occasion, the ramifications could be disastrous. A leader with that much candor could lose the confidence of his staff, his clients could take their business elsewhere, and his board could fire him. At least those are the fears that keep us silent. But what actually does happen when we overcome this fear and come clean about our personal flaws? What happens when we begin to name our cowardice and admit our inclination to hide? Paradoxically, when we muster the courage to name our fears, we gain greater confidence and far greater trust from others. Still, confronting your fears involves risk.
In certain environments any honesty about one's failures can be the kiss of death. So if you love truth and are bound to its proclamation, flee the cults of pretense and Christian artifice. Seek out a new context in which to lead. If you find a church or organization that is not bound to pretense but might simply be ill equipped to admit what the Scriptures teach about our struggle with sin, you will be in a place where honesty has the greatest potential to alter the culture of latent deceit. Narcissism A second reason we.