Quips and life advice from a prolific writer of western humor, Texas Bix Bender. Layers of meaning make this ranchman's humor relative, from the stockyard to the stock market, from the bunkhouse to the watering hole. Gems include: "For every mile of bad road you travel, there's two miles of ditch you're staying out of." "If you look a gift horse in the mouth, you could lose a nose." "Bulls seldom make passes at heifers with gases." "Never play leapfrog with a bull." "Life is like a cow pasture. It's very hard to get through it without stepping in some unpleasant things.

" Texas Bix Bender is the author of eighteen books, including the best-selling Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On series. He has written for television and radio shows. He lives in Nashville, Tennessee.