Willy called for me from somewhere in the dusty distance. "Edmund, save me!" I scanned the horizon, my cowboy hat shielding my beautiful brown eyes from the brilliant western sun. "Edmund, help!" Willy shouted. As a most esteemed service dog, I am highly trained to protect my owner and never lose track of his whereabouts at any time. But where in the world was he? Tree, bush, tree, cactus, boulder, tree, Willy! There! I spotted him! For some reason he was lying down across the train tracks. And there was rope around him. Well, butter my crumpet! Someone had tied Willy to the train tracks! I bolted down the side of the cliff where I''d been standing. Bounding from rock to rock with expert balance, quick as a corgi chasing a sausage roll at a picnic, I made my way toward my owner.
"I''m coming, Willy!" I announced with all the heroism of the finest knight in England. "I''m coming to save you!" "Edmund!" Willy cried. "Quick!" Couldn''t Willy see that if I were any quicker, I would positively fly off the ground like a bird? Panting and heart pounding, dust flying up around my paws, I finally reached him. "However did this happen?" I demanded to know. "It was bandits!" Willy explained, his eyes wide and filled with fear. "Bandits got me! They tied me to these here train tracks, and then they took all our burgers! And our hot dogs! And . the dog treats!" I gasped. "Not the dog treats!" I set forth to free him from the rope.
My powerful jaw gripped the thick line while I growled and jerked my head from side to side. "Who would do such a thing?" I muttered as I worked. Willy squirmed and said, "I told you, Edmund! It was bandits." I released the rope from my sharp teeth. "Wait . Willy . you understand me?" "Of course I do!" Well, this was a new development. I had long been frustrated by my inability to tell Willy important things.
Like how I wished he would start teaching me to read and write. Or how I''d always longed for a dapper tweed cape. Or how I wished he would not make eye contact with me while I used the loo. "Hurry, Edmund!" Willy shouted. "We''re running out of time!" Willy was right about that, for in the distance I heard a chugga, chugga sound. "The train!" I yelped. Gripping the rope again in my strong, white, perfectly clean teeth, I clenched my powerful jaw and wildly swung my majestic head, but it wasn''t coming loose. And then paws gripped me from behind.
"Just what do you think you''re doing, little doggy?" I turned to face my foe--Mongrel the Meanie! The most feared K-9 outlaw in the West! I jumped out of Mongrel''s reach and turned my nose up. "I should''ve known it was you who took all the dog treats! You . you . mongrel!" Mongrel threw his head back and laughed. Drool dripped from his brown and yellow fangs. "Sir Edmund of the Wild West," he snarled. "We meet again." "You won''t get away this time, Mongrel!" I told him.
"I will stop you!" Mongrel just snickered. "You''ll never stop me! I''m the greatest criminal dog who ever lived!" I puffed out my muscled chest. "Not only will I stop you, but I will arrest you and bring you to justice!" And with that brave statement, a desert breeze blew the golden fluff on my chest apart to reveal a silver star reading knight. "I''m the knight in this town!" Mongrel barked and drooled and leaped atop me, landing the two of us in the hot dirt. Well, that was the last straw. It was one thing for him to tie Willy to the train tracks, but dirtying my shiny, curly coat was unforgiveable! Before I could launch my attack, Mongrel the Meanie sunk his yellowed fangs into my shoulder, and I let out a howl of pain. "Edmund!" Willy cried. "I can see steam coming around the corner!" Mongrel and I tussled and rolled until I landed on top.
Now I had the upper paw, and Mongrel could not get out from under me. Holding him down with my powerful legs, I could see a train coming around the corner from behind a mountain. I looked down into Mongrel''s crusty eyes. "If I had a fancy white glove, I would remove it and slap you with it! But alas, I have no white glove. So I will say this: You are never to commit crimes ever again. First you will need to go to jail for what you have done. Then, when you are through with that, you are to go to charm school, where they will teach you to brush your teeth and wash your fur and attend a proper afternoon tea and--" "Edmund, please!" Willy screamed, interrupting my important speech. I could see the train was getting quite close indeed, so I released the villain, who immediately ran from me in fear.
"Not today, Mongrel!" I proclaimed, grabbing the leash of justice from the pocket of my service dog''s uniform. I held it in my mouth, swung my head around, and lassoed Mongrel the Meanie to the ground. The leash of justice automatically tied all four of his legs together so he could not flee. Now that the train was only moments away from reaching Willy, I set back to work at releasing him from the rope. "It''s too tight," Willy whimpered. "Save yourself, Edmund!" And then I spotted a kangaroo rat running nearby. It was Deputy McNibble! "McNibble!" I called. "Sir Edmund of the Wild West!" Deputy McNibble squeaked.
"What are you doing out here?" "Never mind that! I need you to come nibble this rope away!" Deputy McNibble''s eyes widened in surprise when he saw Willy tied to the train tracks. "Oh dear me!" he said. "Hurry, McNibble!" I shouted. Deputy McNibble scurried over and began gnawing at the rope with his long sharp teeth. With every little bit that gave way, the train came closer. And closer. And closer. "It''s time!" I declared.
Deputy McNibble and I pulled on Willy''s arms until he tore through the remaining rope. The three of us fell back from the tracks just as the train barreled by. We all lay in the dirt, catching our breath while the speeding train blew a strong wind onto us. Then Willy reached over and gave me a great big hug. "I knew you would save me," he said. "I will always protect you," I told him. "Always." Willy pulled away and smiled.
"I know you will. Now it''s time to wake up, Edmund.".