'Always forgive your enemies - but never forget their names.' JFK 'What do you want to be a sailor for? There are greater storms in politics than you will ever find at sea. Piracy, broadsides, blood on the decks. You will find them all in politics.' David Lloyd George 'Like a plastic bag up a tree. No one knows how he got up there, and no one can be bothered to get him down.' Bill Bailey on Ed Miliband Structured to follow the arc of a life in politics - from childhood aspirations and first attempts at getting elected, to navigating the back benches, ascending the greasy pole, dealing with detractors, facing crises, and finally escaping - this unique collection weaves together the wittiest, wisest and most acerbic political quotations from the last 2,000 years. Punctuated throughout by candid insights from Sir Vince Cable, How to Be a Politician is a timeless and entertaining education in the dark arts of politics.