From THE MADMAN OF PINEY WOODS As a cold shiver ran through my body and heat flushed through my face, I quickly lost my courage and forgot all about leaping through the picture window. Even more shamefully, I also forgot about my heroic plan to grab Benji and escape with him. Knocking over the chair I had been pretending I was going to sit in, all I could manage to do was run toward the kitchen and shout, "Oh, Benji! Please! For the love of God, run!" I can only imagine the confused look that must have come to Father's face when Benji hollered over his shoulder, "Thank you very much for having me over for supper, sir, the conversation was stimulating, your company was exhilarating, and that was one of the finest meals I've ever had!" Benji jostled past me as we ran through the kitchen and spilled out onto the back porch. "Keep running!" I yelled. "Don't listen to anything she says, she's very confused!" Three blocks from home, just outside of the funeral parlour I grabbed the back of Benji's jacket and pulled him to a stop. I leaned over, put my hands on my knees, and gasped to him, "I'm fairly certain we're safe. I don't think she can run this far." "You don't think who can run this far? Who are we running from?" "Grandmother O'Toole!" "Who?" "My mother's mother.

" "Your grandmother? We're running like this from your grandmother?".