Acknowledgments Prologue BAPAIJI Navsari Adhi Ghadiali Hormusji Behramji Seervai The Mother The Emancipation of Women Maharani Is Coming Simply Cleaning House Between the Mosque and the Temple GRANNY The Long Dining Table Cambridge Nawaz Rustomji Jamshedji Cama A Midsummer Night's Dream A Legitimate Heir The Episode of the Vase MOM AND DAD Froglegs Edinburgh Ratilal Baksheesh, Seth, Baksheesh Land of Forefathers The Two Firls Huddleed Together Like Monkeys First Class! Absolutely A-Number One-First Class! Joyride Her Mona Lisa Smile The Greater of His Two Loves Nehru and Lady Mountbatten Had an Affair The Towers of Silence RUSI Maybe If I Had Been a Quadriplegic Stupid Bloody Bawaji Bastard You Think This Is Bloody Communist Russia You Can Just Walk into My Room Look at His Hair, Like a Gollywog Chicago Jan Schultz HOMI Penny Penny: Corollaries Aquihana Va-Va-Va-Voom Manasni, Gavasni, Kunasni On the Wings of a Dragon Epilogue Glossary.