Training the Mind (from Chapter 3) Recently my wife and I tooksome friends to San Francisco. The day was beautiful, bright and sunnywithout being uncomfortably hot, and the air was so clear that we had afull view of the Berkeley hills across the bay. As we crossed the GoldenGate a light breeze was blowing, making the water dance with sunlight. We went straight to the Marina for a walk. I like to watch sailboats under full, colorful sail, and I enjoy the birds - sea gulls, curlews, and the unabashed pigeons that come and look you straight in the eye as if to say, "What have you brought for me to eat?" But what especially fascinated me was a number of people running around the Marina lawns, stopping in turn at certain places to do a specific routine: jumping, bending, twisting, stretching. The city had put up exercise stations, it seems, so that men and women could come there regularly to keep fit.You start at Station 1 and do the recommended exercises; then you jog onto Station 2, and so on around the field. I watched one man do anexercise over and over - flexing and extending first one leg, then theother, again and again and again.

I felt sure he had an objective inview; probably he was trying to develop certain muscles for aparticular sport. On the far side of the park, some other fellowswere apparently trying to push their car to get it started. "They''rejust doing their stretches," my wife explained. With so manyrunners in this country today, we are familiar with scenes like this.Everybody knows about warming up and cooling down and all the rest. Butwhat most people do not realize is that the mind needs to be stretchedtoo. The purpose of warm-up exercises is to keep the body supple so thatyou do not strain a muscle. If you go out to run when your body isstiff, every muscle will complain; the real race will be to see whichone quits first.

Similarly, if you try to work with difficult people -including yourself - when your mind is stiff, you are bound to gettense. Your patience may snap; your digestive organs may go on strike.You may have trouble sleeping at night, and if you do succeed in fallingasleep you may not want to get up. Meditation is warm-up exercise forthe mind, so that you can jog through the rest of the day withoutgetting agitated or spraining your patience. At each station onthe Marina course, I noticed, the signs not only give instructions in anexercise, they also explain its purpose. "Do this to strengthen themuscles of the back." "This will help to flatten your stomach." Just asthere are certain exercises for toning a particular set of muscles,there are special exercises for developing a fit personality.

Everyprovocation is an exercise for developing patience; every opportunity toretaliate offers a chance to harness your passions. The question is thesame as in a physical fitness program: how much do you want to get inshape? Every difficulty during the day can be looked on as anexercise station like those on the Marina. Often the breakfast table isStation 1. It has certain mental bars and rings and stands, and just asthe athlete I saw was strengthening his leg muscles, you can use life''sinevitable annoyances to strengthen your love, patience, and respect. Mostbreakfast trials arise from being rigid about what we like and dislike -which, incidentally, is the source of much of the agitation in personalrelationships. "I don''t like that job, I don''t like her, I don''t likethis, I don''t like that." Listen to people and you can hear this refraineverywhere. If we live alone, we may not hear these notes of pique as the ego expresses its little preferences.

But breakfast withfamily or friends is a different story. You like your coffee strong; shelikes hers light. He wants eggs and you can''t stand them. Isn''t there aking in an English nursery rhyme who turned his kingdom upside down toget breakfast his way? "No one, my dear, would call me a fussy man; Isimply like a bit of butter for my royal slice of bread." If the egocould be king, most of us would sound too much like this to beattractive. Artistry in living begins with learning to be flexible forthe sake of those around us. For most people, the place of workis Station 2: office, factory, school, wherever you have to work withother people. There too the story is the same, for you don''t leave yourdislikes at home.

When you walk in, the receptionist is clipping herfingernails at her desk again, and somebody is sharpening his pencilwith an unnerving rhythm. Even tiny things can irritate: "Why does hehave to sharpen his pencil like that? Why does she have to clip herfingernails now?" I am not exaggerating. When likes and dislikes areallowed free rein, any little thing can be upsetting; clicking nailclippers can sound like castanets. What an exercise for trainingattention! If you can get your mind off the Spanish dancing andcompletely onto your work, the distractions will disappear and you willfind you have reached a new level of willpower, concentration, andflexibility. With practice we can learn not to be bothered bylife''s petty trials, which leaves us the vitality and resilience we needwhen the big trials come. We even have staying power left over when wego home. Then we can say, "Sure, the office was terrible. That''s justwhy I want to show you how much I love you.

" Anyone who can say thatwill be cherished everywhere. Nothing can disturb such a person''s loveor loyalty. A friend of mine worked for years as a machinist.Machine-tool technology can bring together very disparate individuals,and Ed found the differences trying. I reminded him, "Differences areonly natural where people work together. You don''t come from the sameplace or share the same family background. You had different parents,grew up with different values, faced different challenges. You shouldn''tbe surprised to discover you have conflicting ways of doing things.

" I called up what little I knew about machine work. "Don''t you have a polisher there?" I asked. "Sure," said Ed. "Several of them." "Whenyou go off to work tomorrow, don''t say you are going to fabricateflywheels. Say, ''I''m off to do more polishing.'' That is one function ofthe workplace that people never think of: it is a place where you cansmooth and polish the rough spots of your personality." "Smoothand polish," of course, is a nice way of saying there is going to beabrasion.

This is not pleasant, I agree. But it can be highly artisticonce you get the hang of it. Isn''t lens grinding an accomplished art? Askilled worker can polish a piece of glass into a precise, powerfullens. Similarly, meditation can shape and polish personality into a lensthat concentrates and magnifies the greatest of human resources.