"I find Jessica''s work not only highly useful but absolutely essential to building healthy, secure open relationships. What a gift this intelligent, inspired piece of literature is to the broader non-monogamous community, as well as those about to embark on this brave frontier of multiple loves! I whole-heartedly recommend this book to anyone interested in self-acceptance and self-mastery, as well as their own emotional well-being as they build loving, sustainable, healthy multiple relationships." --Kitty Chambliss, ACC, CPC, ELI-MP, relationship coach and author of Jealousy Survival Guide: How to Feel Safe, Happy and Secure in an Open Relationship "I often say there''s being polyamorous and then there''s being polyamorous well. I believe Polywise can equip you to do just that." -- Evita Sawyers, author of A Polyamory Devotional. "An exceptional achievement that will be required reading for anyone practicing consensual nonmonogamy, from seasoned veteran to timid newbie alike." -- Emily Sotelo Matlack, co-host of the Multiamory podcast and co-author of Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships, "Most of us are content to ''make polyamory work'' and keep ourselves and our partners reasonably happy. Jessica Fern is taking us far beyond that to a much deeper level of understanding of our psyches and the underpinnings of our relationship dynamics.

She and her co-conspirator David Cooley have bared their souls about the evolution of their own poly lives and relationships, as well as sharing countless illuminating stories about their clients'' struggles . Required reading and a must-have for your poly bookshelf!" -- Kathy Labriola, author of The Polyamory Breakup Book. "If you are ready to think more deeply about communication, codependency, conflict, and repair in your most important relationships, Polywise is required reading." -- Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, author of Love Every Day and host of Reimagining Love. "In Polywise, Jessica Fern and David Cooley help readers understand the often unseen root causes of symptoms and give them the strategies they need so their relationships can actually thrive ." --JoEllen Notte, author of The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren''t Having and In It Together: Navigating Depression with Partners, Friends, and Family. For Polysecure : "Secure attachment is absolutely central to successful polyamorous relationships, and insecure attachment is at the core of the jealousy and other challenges in open relationships of all kinds.

This book can help poly people, as well as clinicians, get to the heart of their struggles and pain. It can help them to take concrete steps to become more comfortable with their nonmonogamous relationships and trust their partner''s love and commitment. This is required reading for people in open relationships and should be used as a textbook for every therapist who works with people in polyamorous relationships." --Kathy Labriola, counselor, nurse, and author of The Polyamory Breakup Book "A deeply compassionate book, Polysecure is a great read for both therapists who serve people in consensually nonmonogamous (CNM) relationships and laypeople who are interested in what makes for secure attachments in such relationships. It offers an excellent summary of conventional attachment theory, critiques and re-interprets attachment theory for CNM relationships, and provides a roadmap for people in CNM relationships who want to establish emotionally intimate and securely attached relationships with multiple partners. One of the most important insights from Fern''s delightful book is that secure attachment is a product of relationship experiences rather than relationship structures." --Dr. Elisabeth Sheff, author of The Polyamorists Next Door, Stories from the Polycule, When Someone You Love is Polyamorous , and Children in Polyamorous Families "No matter where your relationship stands, this book is a necessity for examining your future and creating the life you''ll love.

" -- Tammy Nelson, PhD and author of Open Monogamy: A Guide to Co-Creating Your Ideal Relationship Agreement. " Polysecure is likely to become for people interested in polyamory, what Love Languages is for understanding romance. It gives people a way to understand how they may be recreating those old patterns by bringing their own childhood attachment styles into their adult relationships. And even more importantly, it offers concrete skills for how to use this knowledge to create healthier, more satisfying and secure relationship dynamics." --Max Rivers, intimacy coach and author of Loving Conflict: How Conflict Is Really Your Relationship Trying to Go Deeper "An extremely helpful addition to the literature on consensual non-monogamy, and the first self-help book to focus on applying attachment theory to non-monogamous relationships. Taking the reader by the hand, Jessica Fern explains how perfectly secure attachment styles are rare, and how all of us can usefully work with our attachment issues, whatever our way of doing relationships. Weaving together research findings with therapeutic literature and personal experience, Fern does an excellent job of challenging the popular view that non-monogamous people are more likely than anyone else to struggle with attachment. She presents an extremely helpful model locating our relationship patterns within our wider culture and community as well as within our family background and relationship experiences.

The notion of openly discussing whether we want an attachment-based partnership or not is worth the price of the book all by itself, as is the chapter on developing a secure attachment with yourself. This is gold!" --Dr. Meg-John Barker, author of Rewriting the Rules: An Anti Self-Help Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships.