"This is one of the most moving and, ultimately, hopeful books I have ever read. We think we know our academic friends and colleagues. We meet them as adults and learn about their families. Perhaps we hear about their childhoods. But we don''t appreciate the complexity of what has made them the people they are, the interweaving of suffering and joy that composes their lives. Marlena Fiol''s profound and courageous book is a significant gift to all of us in sharing these sufferings and joys. It is, in many ways, a story of forgiveness and redemption, for others and oneself, as these unfold over a lifetime." --Jean M.
Bartunek, PhD, Robert A. and Evelyn J. Ferris chair, professor of management and organization at Boston College and former president of the Academy of Management "In this powerful memoir, Marlena Fiol stays grounded in the reality of life and the imperfect people who are all just doing the best they can. Human love is complicated because it is merely human: not all that wise, not all that enduring, not all that pure. And so it is that we are saved by forgiveness and compassion for self as well as for others. Thus, there is a resurrection in this narrative, and that is where we can be hopeful. In this book, we come in the end to a quiet peace, joy, and even a divine love that moves and heals despite human brokenness." --Stephen G.
Post, PhD, director of the Center for Medical Humanities, Compassionate Care and Bioethics, and professor of Family, Population and Preventive Medicine, Stony Brook University. Bestselling author of God and Love on Route 80: The Hidden Mystery of Human Connectedness "Marlena Fiol poignantly explores the multiplicity of relationships as they unfolded through various stages in her life.father-daughter, girl-boy, seeker-religion, lover-beloved, wife-husband, and mother-children. As we witness in her telling, strength, courage, vulnerability, and forgiveness allow the healing movement from judgment to compassion in wounded relationships. Her work is an important reminder to me about how dynamic and ever-changing relationships can be, and yet how crucial to my own pilgrimage." --Daniel Martin, cofounder and president of Pension Planners Northwest, a retirement plan consulting firm "I found Marlena''s story riveting and spellbinding. Nothing Bad Between Us is a true story of healing, deep reflection, raw emotion and triumph. Marlena has been able to see through her own pain in order to encourage and help bring healing to others.
Highly recommended." --Misty Griffin, author of Tears of the Silenced: An Amish True Crime Memoir of Childhood Sexual Abuse, Brutal Betrayal, and Ultimate Survival " Nothing Bad Between Us is a courageous story of both bringing to light family/community secrets and forgiving those who have been emotionally unavailable to us, failed to protect us, or even abused us. Marlena shows us that the path to surviving these kinds of abuses and neglect, while not linear, is achievable. It is through the truth, no matter how painful for all, that we can build a better future for ourselves, those we love, and the larger community." --Dawn Tankersley, EdD, early childhood specialist "Novelist Ernest Hemingway said, ''The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.'' Some of the broken individuals emerge not just strong, but triumphant. That''s Marlena Fiol''s journey in Nothing Bad Between Us: A Mennonite Missionary''s Daughter Finds Healing in Her Brokenness. I found enormous inspiration and encouragement in this beautifully written account.
This book could have been written only by someone possessed of uncommon love, compassion, and empathy. For anyone who has been broken and is in need of healing, please put Nothing Bad Between Us at the top of your list." --Larry Dossey, MD, New York Times bestselling author of One Mind: How Our Individual Mind Is Part of a Greater Consciousness and Why It Matters "Because Marlena Fiol, in her struggle for freedom, was able to make peace with her father and her faith, she reveals a path toward an accomplished and bitterfree life. Hers is an epic journey of reconciliation." --Phil Cousineau, author of The Art of Pilgrimage "In this beautifully written memoir, Marlena Fiol tells a painful though ultimately inspirational story of difficulty and redemption. In her account of being raised in a sometimes-abusive Mennonite family in rural Paraguay, she shows how the path to family reconciliation can come through compassion and acceptance of others, rather than through insistence on their change. She also illustrates the important ways that connections to family--even to those who have been hurtful--can sometimes provide the greatest sources of strength and meaning." --Joshua Coleman, PhD, author of When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don''t Get Along "Of the infinite ways to tell a life story, Marlena has found words to take us deeply into her experience through the lens of her relationship with our broken, amazing and beloved father.
She does so with courage and vulnerability. Though I find it impossible to read this story with any kind of objectivity, I am a witness to the pain and the healing that they both experienced as they struggled to find what all our hearts so deeply long for, that safe haven in one another." --Mary Lou Bonham, the sister of Marlena Fiol and a marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor " Nothing Bad Between Us is the compelling and deeply moving story of Marlena Fiol''s journey to her authentic self. Raised in Paraguay, where her Mennonite parents founded a leprosy colony, Marlena struggled against the strictures and expectations of the church and her father''s often brutal ways of trying to control his rebellious child. And as happens with a childhood where expectations overpower the true self, the struggle continues into adulthood, even when the parents are far away. Marlena Fiol is a fierce searcher with a willingness to examine herself and her own frailties and find compassion in others through this. With a pure and honest voice, Marlena invites you on the complicated journey of love." --Jackie Shannon Hollis, author of This Particular Happiness: A Childless Love Story "Reconciliation can''t happen unless people commit to entering the brokenness and pain to seek a new way forward.
It requires perseverance, honesty, and humility. It is not easy. But, on the other side, a restored relationship emerges--not the same as before, but beautiful and special. In Nothing Bad Between Us , Marlena Fiol bravely describes the process of reconciliation with her father. The pain and brokenness are evident, but so, too, is grace. Her story will inspire others that risking reconciliation can bring new beauty to their families, churches, and communities." --Alan Claassen Thrush, Mennonite Central Committee "My dog hated Marlena Fiol''s Nothing Bad Between Us: A Mennonite Missionary''s Daughter Finds Healing in Her Brokenness . She is usually quite tolerant of my reading choices because she knows she can easily distract me and I will put down my reading to tend to her every whim.
Once I began Nothing Bad Between Us , however, I was a goner. I simply had to finish the story of Marlena''s childhood: in Paraguay, in a leper colony, with a brilliant and brutal father amidst a judgmental community of Mennonite missionaries. How many ways could this go wrong for a girl-child who was perhaps more brilliant and stubborn than her pious father? Marlena''s story is one of spiritual struggle wrapped in adventure." --Karen Brazeau, former director of Oregon''s Juvenile Justice System and associate director of the Oregon Department of Education. "Revolving around the relationship between daughter and father, Nothing Bad Between Us is at once a brave, vulnerable, unflinching, warm, disturbing, tragic, and ultimately inspirational story that deftly dismantles our often-simplistic cultural accounts about what love is and what it ''should'' be. If you''ve ever struggled to live up to your own and others'' often unrealistic expectations of what it means to be a loving child, friend, coworker, parent, partner, or other role in an important relationship, this book can help you find the insights and strength to accept and forgive yourself and those you are trying to love. If you can do that, you are not promised a perfect relationship, but one where you can honestly say, ''doa ess nuscht tweschen ons.'' (''There''s nothing bad between us.
'')" --Michael G. Pratt, PhD, O''Connor Family Professor, PhD Director, Management & Organization Department, Affiliated Faculty, Department of Psychology, Carroll School of Management, Boston College "Dreams, principles, and values deeply inform our personal narratives, the stories of our life that shapes how we live. Marlena Fiol''s fearless recollection of life with her father reminds us that no matter how complete and noble the narrative, we need to remember to say Thank you , What do you think? , I''m sorry , and I love you . If not, even the noblest narrative will cast an overbearing shadow on others, especially our children. Thankfully, Marlena''s sometimes self-destructive struggle with her father''s shadow ends in recovery and reconciliation. In time, she was able to author her own life. And yes, even her father came to see that life is better when he freed those he loved to be themselves. This is a sometimes tough but always inspiring read.
" --Jim Walsh, PhD, Arthur F. Thurnau professor at the University of Michigan and former president of the Academy of.