Me People ask about the boy behind the door inside the house me. Mostly Sister gets the questions. She chases away boys girls too sometimes who wander onto our property to gawk and stare at me the one folks hardly see but everybody knows about. Me and Sister Hattie and me are twins not that we match exactly. She''s two inches taller I''m two minutes older a boy. Eleven though I seem younger. Maybe that''s why Hattie likes to boss me around. But I''m the captain today anyhow.
Which means she''s got to follow my rules. My Condition Sometimes I feel as small as a flea as little as the space between the numbers on a watch. It makes living hard staying inside easier than leaving the house. Right now I''m on my knees on the couch by the window staring out--like usual. Hattie''s to the right of the porch next to the gravel walkway in front of the bushes Gran asked her to trim yesterday. It''s a boy''s job my job but given my condition Hattie gets to take my place more than I''d like not that I like toting pails feeding chickens milking. The Way Things Are We live in Seed County, North Carolina. Daddy is in Detroit working.
Here, it''s me Gran and Hattie in the house. Uncle comes by now and again. He don''t like me much. Hattie''s Way How many times you got to call a girl before she answers? One time? Two times? Ten? "Hattie Mae!" I say again. Outside past the porch she squats low picks up a rope that came from Detroit wrapped around a box of new dresses sent to her by Daddy. She holds both ends swings that rope over her head jumps HIGH sends dirt flying. Still she ignores me. Could be she''s mad at me.
This is the third time this week I said I''d go outside try to anyhow. Only I can''t. Sister''s Song Sister is dressed for Sunday when it''s only Wednesday. She sings while she jumps hops skips. "Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack ." But as soon as her song starts it stops. "Everybody''s got a condition," she says. "Pastor wheezes when he preaches.
Sneezes come spring. Still he gets out the house." I get out at night, at least. If folks looked up, there I''d be on the roof under the sky talking to Hattie the only one allowed up there besides me. My rules even when I''m not the captain. Lighthouses and Blue Moons Sister takes her sweet time walking up the pine front-porch steps sawed and nailed in place by Granddad, who built the house. Halfway between the porch and me she stops gives Gran a hug reminds her that there''ll be a blue moon in a few months'' time. Who don''t know that? The almanac calls the second full moon in a month a blue moon.
It don''t happen too often. Which makes it a big deal important unusual. Gran calls it a wishing moon. What you want for, wish for or need on that day is yours according to her. Which is why Hattie is nagging me so. If I''m to be rid of my condition she believes we need to get to the ocean on the night of the blue moon get to the lighthouse too where I was when everything changed. Which means I have to get out of this house first. Only I can''t.
Why don''t folks understand that? Ma would. Hattie in the House Hattie comes inside when I say I don''t feel so well. Sister swears it''s nothing. Just me worrying or about to. Still she puts her hand on my forehead. Feels like something. Needles poke my legs. Fire burns my toes and fingernails.
My insides hum like guitar strings just plucked. It''s my nerves playing tricks on me Doc Edwards claimed during his once-a-month visit. Feels like something worse. "Hattie," Gran says from where she sits rocking on the porch, "leave him be." Hattie stands behind me. Hugs me. Brings up Doc Edwards. I shiver get cold to the bone.
My worrying is a worry to my soul brain blood and everything that makes me me Doc Edwards said before he left town for good. "Get him outside in the sun. Drag him if you must," he told Daddy not long after the accident plus a few more times besides. Daddy never did. Never would. He understands me good as Ma. Ma''s Twin Uncle said it was a fool''s errand that sent me to the ocean that night with Ma chasing after me. More About Uncle Uncle never did trust up-north big-city fast-talking pointy-toed-shoe-wearing folk Negro or white not even Daddy at first.
Till Ma introduced him to Daddy''s cousin Sarah. She''s our cousin and our aunt now. They married ten years ago. Got no kids just each other plus a big white house. Uncle came back south when Gran got sick. Ma followed. For just a spell they both said. Then he got a job with the railroad.
Ma started teaching. Six-two pecan brown Uncle dresses in clothes plain as paper bags. Brown brown always brown. His car is fancy, though. His house has three floors. He built it himself. Some nights I stayed with them. He liked me then.
Ma If it wasn''t for Ma I would believe what people say about me that I''m peculiar odd a coward. That night Ma called me brave strong her little man the smartest boy in Seed County. I never told anybody that. Rooftop On my back on top the roof laying on a blanket with my toes aimed at the sky I forget my troubles. The moon lights up the night. Lights me up inside fills me up calms me down. Hattie too. Sister is nearby with her birds.
Standing in front of cages stacked wide and high Hattie looks after her treasures doves that think they''re hawks. Twelve in all. Only Nutcracker is free right now. Above My Head Nutcracker flaps his wings heads for his favorite spot a chicken-wire fence Daddy put around the roof so we don''t fall off. Hattie sets another dove free then another till there''s ten of us on the roof one complaining-- me. The others coo peck at seeds corn kernels dry peas that Hattie scatters in the cages on the roof and me. I close my eyes again think about Buck Rogers who is nothing like me. Full-grown white he lives in the twenty-fifth century five hundred years in the future.
Ray guns. Starships. High-frequency impulses. I never heard of such things before his radio show. Uncle doesn''t like it one bit. Says Buck and me do the devil''s work by meditating on places God never wanted folk to go Venus Neptune Pluto the Milky Way the moon. When I think on them and other things above I don''t fear anything. Night Trains The train runs along the track behind our house.
Black spitting steam it heads this way on its way to the station. Hattie''s birds squawk and swoop. I pretend I''m in first class on my way to Sirius. Captain Me Hattie sits beside me in a rain barrel I sawed in half. I check the controls-- buttons and knobs whittled out of wood hammered and nailed into place with my very own hands. Sister shifts gears using an old ax handle she swings in the air. "Ready?" I ask. Sister salutes.
"Aye, aye, Captain." "Head protector?" I ask. She pats her helmet Gran''s old church hat covered in tinfoil. "Check," she says. "Rocket fuel?" Sister lifts a seltzer bottle full of well water. "Enough for a month, sir." "Jet pack?" "Yes sir." We got suspenders strapped on our backs stitched to feed sacks filled with dried peas handmade by Gran.
Hattie Mae licks her baby finger. Holds it high. "Good news, James Henry. Yesterday''s storm did not excite the wind too much. We should make it to Neptune in record time without be.