Bill Geist's hilarious book describes his personal struggle with the awful aging process and with the monumental milestone called the Big Five-Oh. From the trauma of receiving an application to join the AARP to the realization that he can't really see the menu, hear the waiter, or remember the specials, Geist catalogs the discontents, large and small, of those approaching and passing fifty. He lies about his age, shops for a Harley, buys an Ab-Roller, receives liposuction counseling, finds himself the oldest guy at a rock concert, catches himself paying attention to a Depends commercial, buys "relaxed fit" jeans, falls asleep at a party, wakes up from a nightmare about college tuition, and damn near buys a Cadillac!.