A critical examination of the self-help industry through the author's personal experience of spending $47,000 on various self-improvement programs, courses, and products. Grau analyzes common self-help practices including morning routines, manifestation, mindfulness apps, networking, supplements, personal branding, and life coaching, arguing that these individual solutions cannot address systemic problems. The book exposes how the self-improvement industry profits from creating the very problems it claims to solve, turning personal development into a form of self-exploitation. Through humor and cultural criticism, this work challenges the fundamental assumptions of self-help culture while documenting the financial and psychological costs of pursuing optimization in late capitalism.