So, hello already. I'm Uncle Blubbafink. I hear you're looking for a good story or two. You want stories? I'll give you stories.Did I ever tell you about my old pal, Abraham Sandwich? Or about the time I met a volcano that was raised by chickens? Or my adventures with the dragon whose head turned into a station wagon? And did you know there used to be cows on the moon? I'm serious. These are actual historical events witnessed with my own eyes. Would I kid you? Of course not. Not your old Uncle Blub! I like you too much.

Now get outta here already!.