Acknowledgments xv 1 Research and Theory 1 Female Socialization 2 Values- Based Paradigm 3 A Trauma- Informed Motherhood Curriculum 4 Female Socialization and Trauma 9 Women with Trauma: What Happens Next? 11 Why Focus on Mothers? 12 The Danger of "At Least ." 13 Toxic Water and Traumatic Stigmatization 15 Healing Mothers'' Trauma 15 Conscious Femininity and Conscious Motherhood 16 2 Facilitating the Amazing Moms! Program 19 Toxic Water 19 Supporting Conscious Femininity and Conscious Motherhood 21 Structure and Content of the Program 22 The Facilitator Philosophy 22 The Facilitator 25 Creating and Maintaining a Safe Container 26 Consistent Communication 26 Consistent Structure 26 The Healing Journey for Facilitators 28 Supervision and Facilitator Self- care 29 Facilitating the Program 30 Surface to Depth 32 Five Relational Postures 32 The Sessions 33 Facilitator Notes and Suggested Dialogue 34 Timing 34 Components of the Sessions 35 Check- in 35 Breathing Exercise 35 Grounding Exercise 36 Feelings/Body Check- in 36 Lectures 36 Interactive Lectures 36 Discussions/Focus Questions 37 Subgroup Discussions 37 Activities 37 Debriefing 38 Check- out 38 Assignment and Close 38 The Different Learning Styles 39 Organizational Considerations 39 Assaults on Our Bodies and Minds 40 The Workbook 40 Conclusion 41 Facilitator Survey 43 References 45 Meeting 1: Engaging the Mother Within 47 Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 47 Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 47 Introductions - 15 minutes 48 Orientation to Program and Group Agreements - 20 minutes 49 Grounding and Relaxation Exercises - 15 minutes 52 Expectations - What Do You Want to Get Out of This Group? - 15 minutes 57 Group Discussion: What Is Motherhood? - 35 minutes 58 Commitment to Conscious Motherhood - 5 minutes 59 Check- out - 10 minutes 60 Assignments and Close - 5 minutes 61 Meeting 2: The Woman Rules 63 Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 63 Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 63 Check- in Process - 20 minutes 64 Mini- Lecture: The Water - 10 minutes 70 Activity: The Woman Rules - 40 minutes 73 Activity: Components of Healthy Mothering - 15 minutes 79 Activity: Subgroup Discussions - 20 minutes 82 Check- out - 10 minutes 84 Assignment and Close - 5 minutes 85 The Feelings Wheel (reference for facilitators, included in participant workbook) 86 Meeting 3: Toxic Water 87 Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 87 Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 88 Check- in - 15 minutes 88 Lecture: The Toxins in the Water - 25 minutes 90 Check- in Scale Introduction: What''s Your Number? - 5 minutes 96 Small Group Discussion: The Shoes of Another - 30 minutes 97 Large Group Discussion: Cleansing the Water - 30 minutes 99 Check- out - 10 minutes 101 Assignment and Close - 5 minutes 101 Meeting 4: Cultivating an Intrapersonal Relationship of Compassion 103 Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 103 Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 103 Check- in - 15 minutes 104 Mini Lecture 1: The Woman Rules and Internal Messages - 15 minutes 106 Mini Lecture 2: "Don''ts and Bes" in Relationships - 10 minutes 108 Small Group Discussion: Early Childhood and the Woman Rules - 25 minutes 112 Creative Activity: The Mother Inside - 35 minutes 114 Sharing of Drawings - 10 minutes 115 Check- out - 10 minutes 115 Assignment and Close - 5 minutes 116 Meeting 4.5: Assaults on Our Bodies and Minds 117 ***Caveat for this Session*** 117 Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 117 Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 118 Check- in - 15 minutes 118 Mini Lecture 1: The Woman Rules and Violations of Our Bodies - 15 minutes 121 Mini Lecture 2: Consequences of Trauma After Violations - 10 minutes 123 Subgroup Discussions: Bodily Autonomy - 25 minutes 127 Creative Activity: Reclaiming Body Autonomy - 25 minutes 129 Sharing of Drawings - 10 minutes 130 Check- out - 15 minutes 131 Assignment and Close - 5 minutes 132 Meeting 5: Moms and Trauma: Breaking the Cycle 133 Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 133 Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 134 Check- in - 15 minutes 135 Interactive Lecture: What Is Trauma? - 30 minutes 137 Interactive Lecture: Moms and Trauma - 15 minutes 143 Activity: The Colors of Life - 25 minutes 145 Check- out - 10 minutes 146 Exercise: Five Senses Mindfulness - 10 minutes 147 Assignment and Close - 5 minutes 149 Meeting 6: Making the Connections - Mental Health, Addiction, and Trauma 151 Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 151 Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 152 Check- in - 15 minutes 152 Lecture: Adverse Childhood Experiences - 25 minutes 155 Mini- Lecture: Mental Health and Addiction - 5 minutes 158 Subgroup Discussion: Let''s Get Real - 35 minutes 161 Activity: Juggling My Life - 25 minutes 162 Check- out - 10 minutes 166 Assignment and Close - 5 minutes 167 Meeting 7: Feelings . Nothing More Than Feelings 169 Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 169 Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 169 Check- in - 15 minutes 170 Mini- Lecture: Women and Feelings - 5 minutes 172 Mini- Lecture: Shame - 15 minutes 174 Activity: Digging Deeper and Sharing Feelings - 50 minutes 180 Activity: A Picture of Anger - 15 minutes 182 Check- out - 15 minutes 184 Assignment and Close - 5 minutes 185 Meeting 8: Exploring Family Dynamics, Past and Present 187 Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 187 Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 188 Check- in - 15 minutes 188 Activity: The Man Rules - 15 minutes 191 Activity: Family Sculpture - 40 minutes 193 Discussion: Debriefing the Family Sculpture - 15 minutes 199 Activity: Creating Family of Origin Collage - 15 minutes 201 Check- out - 15 minutes 202 Assignment and Close - 5 minutes 204 Meeting 9: Father of Mine 207 Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 207 Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 208 Check- in - 10 minutes 208 Activity: Sharing Family of Origin Projects - 15 minutes 211 Activity: Identifying Expectations for Fathers - 35 minutes 212 Subgroup Discussions: Relationships with Our Fathers - 35 minutes 215 Check- out - 15 minutes 217 Assignments and Close - 10 minutes 218 Meeting 10: Mothers 221 Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 221 Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 222 Check- in - 10 minutes 222 Activity: Reading Father Letters - 25 minutes 224 Interactive Lecture: Mother Rules and Expectations - 30 minutes 227 Subgroup Discussions: Relationships with Our Mothers - 30 minutes 231 Check- out - 15 minutes 232 Assignments and Close - 10 minutes 234 Meeting 11: Healthy Relationships: Boundaries, Communication, and Conflict 237 Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 237 Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 238 Check- in - 10 minutes 239 Activity: Reading Letters to Mothers - 25 minutes 243 Interactive Mini Lecture: Defining Healthy and Unhealthy Boundary and Communication Styles - 15 minutes 246 Small Group Activity: Pros and Cons - 15 minutes 249 Toward a Win/Win Approach in Relationships: Moving Past the Woman Rules to Be the Moms We Want to Be - 35 minutes 251 Check- out - 15 minutes 254 Assignments and Close - 5 minutes 256 Meeting 12: Let''s Talk About Sex 259 Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 259 Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 260 Check- in - 15 minutes 260 Activity: Sex and Feelings - 20 minutes 265 Interactive Lecture: Purity Culture and Sexuality - 40 minutes 269 Activity & Discussion: What I Wish I Had Known - 25 minutes 274 Check- out - 15 minutes 276 Assignments and Close - 5 minutes 276 Meeting 13: Let''s REALLY Talk About Sex 279 Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 279 Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 279 Check- in - 15 minutes 280 Activity: Let''s Talk About Sex - 40 minutes 284 Interactive Lecture: The Importance of Consent - 20 minutes 287 Subgroup Activity: "The Sex Talk" - 30 minutes 291 Check- out - 15 minutes 292 Assignments and Close - 5 minutes 293 Meeting 14: Women''s Health 295 Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 295 Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 295 Check- in - 15 minutes 296 Interactive Lecture: What Is Wellness and Why Does It Matter? - 40 minutes 300 Subgroup Activity: My Physical Health - 30 minutes 308 Subgroup Activity: Creating a Plan for Your Wellness - 20 minutes 309 Check- out - 10 minutes 310 Assignments and Close - 5 minutes 311 Meeting 15: Healthy Discipline 313 Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 313 Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 315 Check- in - 15 minutes 315 Interactive Lecture: Defining Discipline - 10 minutes 320 Subgroup Discussions: Healthy Discipline - 25 minutes 322 Activity: Abuse and Discipline - 45 minutes 325 Mini- Lecture: Stopping the Cycle - 5 minutes 330 Check- out - 15 minutes 332 Assignment and Close - 5 minutes 333 Meeting.