THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU'D RATHER BE DEAD is a dark humor mystery. Officer Joe was a Birmingham homicide detective chasing a serial killer called the Angel of Mercy who preyed on children. The killer turned on Joe and killed his wife and daughter. Birmingham PD believes that Joe killed the Angel, but Joe believes that he killed an innocent man. He spirals into obsession and falls apart as a cop and a man. Rather than fire him, Birmingham PD makes him a community affairs officer for a year, dressing in a clown suit and giving canned presentations to school children. He takes the assignment so he can watch for the Angel. Eating and drinking himself to death, he has gained a hundred pounds, is barely functioning, and is in conflict with everyone.

All he wants to do is catch the killer, and join his family in death The story opens at this point, with Joe giving a presentation to second-graders that goes badly, comically wrong. But, on this day, he sees something wrong with one of the children.