Some of the most important time of your spanking scene takes place before anybody's underpants go down. Talking straightforwardly about what kinds of activities interest you, about your desires and limits, is an essential part of making your spanking work. Without this negotiation process, tops are put in the awkward position of having to read bottoms' minds, and bottoms spend the entire spanking tense and on edge, wondering if the top is about to do something that the bottom really doesn't like. Hardly a formula for a successful interaction!Many people aren't used to talking honestly about their erotic needs, so negotiation can be awkward if you're not used to it. It does get easier with practice - skilled negotiators can whiz through such conversations with dazzling ease.I suggest that you and your partner have this discussion well before you get together to do your spanking scene. By the time you get together and are feeling all hot and bothered, your eagerness may lead you into making compromises that aren't a good idea. It's much easier to say "No, thanks," to a spanking that hasn't been planned yet than it is to walk away from an imminent scene.

Here are some of the topics you should probably discuss: The spanking itself. Hands only? Implements? Which implements are OK, which are to be used with caution, which are off limits? Any parts of the butt that don't like to be hit? Is it OK to hit anywhere besides the butt and, if so, where? Will it cause any problems if the spanking leaves marks?Sex. Will the spanking include any sexual interaction? If so, what kind? What are both parties' standards for safer sex: which activities are safe enough to do without a barrier, which ones require a barrier, which are too unsafe to do at all? Who will be in charge of providing safer sex materials such as condoms, gloves and lubricant?Roles. Who will top, and who will bottom? Will the spanking include any role-playing such as teacher/student, owner/slave, adult/child or captor/captive?Related activities. Will the spanking include any bondage, and, if so, in what positions and with what materials? Will other activities such as role-playing, humiliation games, or enemas be involved?Physical limits. Does either partner have any physical conditions that should be taken into account? Common physical limits include heart troub≤ back troub≤ easy bruising due to anemia, diabetes or anticlotting medication; breathing difficulty; vertigo.