Chapter 1 Shared Needs: Belonging and Differentiating Take a minute and ponder what elements of your life you cannot live without. Look at the things that make your life valuable; not your latest gadget or miracle cosmetic, but the essentials that would leave a marked void if they disappeared. Some go without saying, such as your most basic human needs: food, clothing and shelter. But what are the others? In terms of human drives, what is your most basic need--the intangible equivalent of food, clothing and shelter? Regardless of whether your personality bends towards introverted or extroverted, regardless of whether your feelings about people make you a misanthrope or philanthropist, human companionship is a primary driver of human behaviour. Companionship can be different things to different people, but the premise remains consistent for all but the most deviant minds: people need people. The Hierarchy of Needs In 1943, psychologist Abraham Maslow introduced his theory on the Hierarchy of Needs. The ground floor of his pyramid of needs is composed of the biological ones we all know: food, sleep, sex, and other elements essential to life. One floor up, you find all of the things that provide safety.

Arguably each of these first two can be met without the need for other people, but the ability to go it alone ends there. Just above that, you have that spectrum of intangibles that relate to belonging and love: affection, relationships, camaraderie. Moving up to the fourth level, you find esteem needs, such as achievement and reputation; and at the top, self-actualisation. Maslow described these needs as a hierarchy because a human being cannot progress to the next tier until the needs below it are met. Therefore, achievement and reputation can come only when someone feels as though he belongs. The personal growth and fulfilment associated with self-actualisation can only come after satisfying the need for achievement and reputation. Stop here for just one minute, because grasping the hierarchy of human needs is the core of the how-to information in this book. The motivation behind a person's choices takes shape according to what lower needs have been met and what higher needs remain to be met.

Among the most interesting attributes of human behaviour is that these needs are often more visible from the outside than the inside. That is, others can clearly see things about you that you cannot, but there are exceptions. Self-Actualisation Personal growth and fulfilment Esteem Needs Achievement, status, responsibility, and reputation Belongingness and Love Needs Family, affections, relationships, workgroups, and so on Safety Needs Protections, security, order, law, limits, stability and so on Biological and Physiological Needs Basic life needs, such as air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex and sleep Look at the top tier of self-actualisation. How can you see, understand, or manipulate another person's sense of self-actualisation? In all of the years I have dealt with peoples' behaviour, I have yet to understand how anyone can begin to understand what self-actualisation means in another, especially when so few can define it for themselves. Interrogators rarely try. We are on a schedule. The science of interrogation is about asking questions and getting as much information in as little time as possible. We need shortcuts to get down to business, so we will take the interrogator's approach to confronting a person's progress on the route to self-actualisation:.