Along the way, I tried a few programs. pretty much every diet known to mankind, and possibly a few other species, too. At one point, I sat down and calculated how much I had spent on weight-loss programs. It wasn't a little bit of money. It was close to $15,000 - 20,000. That's a conversion rate of about $130 for every pound gained. Of course, I eventually regained the previous "quick diet" weight loss and added some more for good measure. In fact, after losing the 50 pounds in those first few weeks, I gained about 100 over the course of the next four years.

That was okay because at that point, I decided that I was indeed meant to be the funny, big and curvy girl. And 315 pounds. Then I finally turned it all around.