Caleb Krisp was raised by militant librarians who fed him a constant diet of nineteenth century literature and room-temperature porridge. His childhood was cut tragically short after he sold his Great Aunt Mabel for a handful of perfectly ordinary pumpkin seeds. Caleb graduated from the University of Sufferance with a degree in Whimsy and set out to make his mark in the world as a writer. Years of toil and failure followed, until, following a brief stint working in a locked box, Caleb moved to an abandoned cottage deep in the woods and devoted himself to writing about the adventures of a twelve-year-old lady's maid of no importance. His only communication with the outside world is via Morse Code or kettle drum. Caleb has a strong dislike of pastry chefs and certain domesticated rabbits. It is his express wish that you stop reading this now.