Acknowledgments xiii Foreword xv Rabbi Jeffrey K. Salkin Preface xix Rabbi Julie Gordon Introduction xxi Cantor Helen Leneman Section I: What's Bar/Bat Mitzvah All About? 1 1 Bar/Bat Mitzvah Basic Elements: Start to Finish 3 Cantor Helen Leneman 2 What Parents Should Know Before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Ceremony 15 Susie Tatarka 3 "Passing" the Bar (or Bat) Mitzvah: Setting Clear and Realistic Expectations for Everyone 21 Cantor Marshall Portnoy 4 A Guide for the Perplexed Parent: How to Ask the Right Questions about Preparation 33 Cantor Helen Leneman 5 The Parents' Rite of Passage 43 Rabbi Susan B. Stone 6 Ritual Magic and Family Drama: Finding New Meaning in an Old Story 47 Dr. Judith Davis 7 To a Religiously Skeptical Jewish Parent 57 Rabbi Jeffrey K. Salkin Section II: The Family's Perspective 65 8 Tales from the Home Front: Lessons from Family Experiences 67 Cantor Helen Leneman 9 Reflections of a Mother 77 Missy Cohen Lavintman 10 Reflections of a Father 83 Neal Gendler 11 Post B'nai Mitzvah Thoughts: Teens Reflect 89 Norman Lavintman, Maya Jaffe, Jennifer Greenberg, Miriam White 12 The Bat Mitzvah Dress: An Intergenerational Story 97 Dr. Nechama Liss-Levinson 13 Journey of One Interfaith Family 103 Dr. Donna R. Hart 14 What to Say to Your Child on the Bimah 109 Rabbi Sandy Eisenberg Sasso Section III: Essentials and Options for the Service and the Celebration 119 15 Designing a Creative Service 121 Cantor Helen Leneman 16 Celebrating and Negotiating: Avoiding a Post-Divorce Battle on the Bimah 129 Sally Weber 17 Making the Theme Meaningful 139 Rabbi Aaron Bergman 18 Do You Need a Party Planner? 145 Cantor Helen Leneman 19 Coming of Age: The Significance of Bar/Bat Mitzvah for Interfaith Families 151 Joan C.
Hawxhurst 20 Celebrating Bar/Bat Mitzvah Successfully as an Interfaith Family 155 Lena Romanoff 21 Special Needs Children Speak for Themselves 161 Appendix A: On the Learning Path--Selected Resources for Parents 171 Dr. Barbara Wachs (z"l) Cantor Helen Leneman Appendix B: Shabbat Morning Service Outline 181 Cantor Marshall Portnoy Appendix C: Helpful Hints for Parents of Special Needs Children 83 Beverly Weaver Appendix D: Selected Bibliography: Recommended Sources for English Readings 187 Cantor Helen Leneman Glossary 189 About the Contributors 193.