When Mum first mooted the idea that I needed a 'special friend' I thought she had been at the wine again or having one of her 'fads'. I am not really sure exactly what a fad is but I hear Dad talking about them all the time. He says Mum likes fads. But then he mentioned it too and I thought oh maybe they mean a lady friend? I thought yeah, I could do that - nice buff young lady who can call me her Sugar Daddy and I can call my 'Bitch' but then it changed, they started talking about him and nephews and apprenticeships and things. I wasn't impressed and then life as I know it, ended. An unmarked van pulls up and out gets this black blob and yep, she was a he. The realisation hit me like a brick - no late night snuggling under the duvet for me, just a life of endless sleepless nights, toilet training and tellings' off.Here is my account of the Raising of Pasha.