Superheroes come in every age, shape, and size-at least that is what Sylvia said while trying to convince her best friend, Maggie, that they were more than equipped to destroy the mob's plan to snuff out Old Lady Jensen. Motivated by the desire to be noticed by Oprah and to become revered in their hometown, they devise a plan, complete with homemade disguises, to save the woman that Sylvia fondly referred to as "the old hag." Maggie, despite her neurotic fears and continual panic attacks, would probably be more helpful if she didn't have such a crush on the leader of this newly discovered crime ring. It is very difficult to shoot a man you want to marry. Getting thrown out of the movie theater for assaulting the owner's bratty son, a possible intestinal worm infestation, and seeing the light after a good tazing, Sylvia, Please Don't Be Dead is a comedy of errors, performed by unlikely friends with huge hearts, but not a lick of sense. This book will keep you laughing, as you hurriedly turn the page to see just what kind of mess these endearing and unforgettable characters will get into next.