DON'T WANT TO OFFEND ANYONE? THEN DON'T F*%#&IN' BUY THIS BOOK! " What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She choked. " How do you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle? Shine a light in her ear. " What's the definition of "making love"? It's what a woman does while a man's screwing her. " How does an Englishman know that his wife is dead? Sex is still the same, but the dishes are piling up in the sink. " What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk at the funeral. " Why is a fat woman like a scooter? They're both fun to ride, but you wouldn't want you friends to see you on either. " A woman walked into the bank to deposit a large bag of cash. "Did you hoard all this money yourself?" asked the teller.

"No," she replied. "My sister whored half of it.".