Customer: "Soccer will never take off in America; it's just not going to happen!" Barber: "I heard a quote in a movie "Americans will never embrace soccer!"" Customer: "Who said that?" Barber: "Homer Simpson in the Simpsons Movie!" Female Barber: (approaching a customer in the waiting area) "you know the way you always give me a fiver tip?" Customer: (A little surprised) "Yea?" Female Barber: "Well would there be any chance I could get an advance, it's just one of the girls is going out for our sandwiches and I have no money!" Customer: "I'm a transparent wall maintenance engineer." Barber: "What is that?" Customer: "I clean the windows at the airport".