Introduction 1 About This Book 2 Foolish Assumptions 3 Icons Used in This Book 3 Beyond the Book 4 Where to Go from Here 4 Part 1: Discovering Depression and Preparing a Plan 5 Chapter 1: Demystifying and Defeating Depression 7 Just Singing the Blues or Depressed? 8 The Varying Faces of Depression 8 Young and depressed 9 Depression in seniors 10 Real men don''t get depressed, or do they? 10 Women and depression 11 Depression and diversity 12 Adversity and depression 12 Adding Up the Costs of Depression 12 Financial costs of depression 13 Previewing personal costs of depression 13 Detailing depression''s physical toll 14 Feeling Good Again 15 Exploring cognitive therapy 15 Trying behavior therapy 16 Reinventing relationships 16 Finding biological solutions 16 Feeling Better Than Good 17 Celebrating Sadness 17 Chapter 2: Detecting Depression 19 Recognizing the Ravages of Depression 20 Dwelling on bleak thoughts 20 Dragging your feet: Depressed behavior 22 Reflecting upon relationships and depression 23 Feeling funky: The physical signs of depression 24 The Faces of Depression 26 Can''t even get out of bed: Major depressive disorder 27 Chronic, low-level depression: Persistent depressive disorder 29 Premenstrual dysphoric disorder: Horrible hormones? 31 Major depression after a bundle of joy 32 Depressive disorders and drugs 34 Depressive disorders and diseases 35 Adjustment disorder with depressed mood: Dealing with adversity 36 And all the rest 38 Good Grief! Is Depression Ever Normal? 39 Digging Out the Causes of Depression 40 Monitoring Mood 42 Chapter 3: When Bad Things Happen 45 Loss and Depression During a Pandemic 46 Losing connections 46 Losing core freedoms 47 Feeling insecure 48 Coping during a pandemic 49 Financial Stressors 50 Emotional accounting 51 Dollars and sense accounting 51 Discrimination and Depression 52 Defending against discrimination 53 Living with discrimination 54 Domestic Violence and Depression 55 Disasters and Depression 56 Chapter 4: Breaking Barriers to Change 57 Flushing Out the Fear of Change 58 Fearing more losses 59 Fearing inconsistency 60 Finding Change-Blocking Beliefs 61 Dealing with dependency and inadequacy 61 Uncovering an undeserving outlook 63 Fighting the unfair fight 65 Rejecting the victim role 65 Tackling perfectionism 68 Analyzing your findings 69 Saving Yourself from Self-Limitations 71 Tracking saboteurs 72 Suspending judgment 74 Going slow 74 Appreciating how progress proceeds 75 Rewriting your reams of failure stories 76 Chapter 5: Finding Help for Depression 79 Stumbling onto a Solution 80 Pursuing the Psychotherapy Option 80 The effective therapies 81 Who''s who in psychotherapy 82 Finding the right therapist for you 84 Deciding whether your therapist is a good match 85 Debunking myths about therapy 87 Talking to a Professional about Antidepressant Medication 90 Exploring the Self-Help Option 92 Deciding whether self-help is a solution 92 Reviewing the resources 93 Part 2: Understanding and Accepting Thoughts and Feelings 95 Chapter 6: Understanding the Thought/ Feeling Connection 97 Understanding Emotions 98 Feelings emerge from your body 98 Feelings sprout from your thoughts 100 Feelings guide your behavior 101 Interpreting Thoughts 102 Distinguishing thoughts from feelings 103 Emotions and thoughts: A two-way street 104 Exploring Emotion-Driven Behavior 105 Feelings are not facts 105 Feelings drive avoidance 106 Chapter 7: Defeating Distorted Thinking 109 Recognizing Thought Distortions 110 Meeting the reality scramblers 111 Looking at reality scramblers in action 114 Making Misjudgments 118 Shoulding on yourself 119 Critically comparing 121 Labeling libelously 122 Assigning blame to the wrong source 124 Chapter 8: Rethinking Thoughts Lurking Behind Depression 127 Building a Thought, Feeling, and Event Tracker 128 Finding Adaptive Replacement Thoughts 130 Tracking feelings and thoughts 132 Checking the evidence 134 Finding replacement thoughts 137 Rating your replacement thoughts 138 Rethinking from start to finish 140 Opening a Thought-Repair Toolkit 141 Giving your problem to a friend 142 Putting time on your side 143 Putting thoughts to the test 144 Revisiting your all-or-none thinking 146 Facing the worst 147 Chapter 9: Accepting Thoughts and Feelings 151 Avoiding Avoidance 152 Drawing the Line Between You and Your Mind 153 Losing Your Mind 154 Thinking about negative thoughts as facts 154 Thanking your mind! 155 Playing with your mind''s thoughts 156 Resisting what is 158 Living anytime but now 159 Living Mindfully 161 Acquiring acceptance 162 Accepting without judging 163 Living as if no one will know 164 Connecting with experience 164 Chapter 10: Thinking the Worst: Suicide 171 Warning Signs of Suicide in Adults 172 Troubling symptoms in adults 173 Risk factors in adults 175 Recognizing Signs in Children and Teens 179 Symptoms in children and teens 180 Risk factors in children and teens 181 Choosing Life and Getting Help 182 Suicide hotlines 183 Emergency departments 183 Part 3: Taking Action Against Depression 185 Chapter 11: Getting Out of Bed 187 Taking Action 188 I don''t feel motivated to do anything 188 I''m too tired and depressed to do anything 189 If I try, I''ll just fail 189 I''m just a lazy person 189 Putting One Foot in Front of the Other: Activity Logs 190 Conquering Can''ts 192 Reviewing your thoughts 192 Testing the waters 193 Charting Your Course through Negative Predictions 194 Giving Yourself Credit 196 Chapter 12: Working Out to Lift Depression 199 Why Exercise? 200 Mental health benefits: Endorphins 200 Physical health benefits 201 Conquering Couch Potato-itis 202 Easing into Exercise 204 Weighing Your Exercise Options 206 Pumping iron 207 Revving up your heart and lungs 207 Yikes! Yoga? 208 Chapter 13: Rediscovering Healthy Pleasures 209 Taking Fun Seriously 209 Striking the right balance 210 Understanding the need for fun 210 Making a List and Checking It Twice 211 Fighting the Pleasure Busters 214 Guilt busters 214 Expecting the worst 218 Chapter 14: Solving Life''s Headaches 221 Drawing Up the Problem-Solving Game Plan -- S.O.C.C.E.R. 222 Assessing Your Problem Situation (S) 223 Come up with a description of the problem 224 Reflect on your feelings about the problem 224 Consider the causes of the problem 224 Search for information about the problem 225 Consider the importance of the problem 225 Check out solution-interfering beliefs 225 Foraging for Options (O) 226 Letting go 227 Thinking visually 228 Permitting playfulness 228 Reviewing your options 229 Contemplating Consequences (C) 230 Choosing Your Plan (C) 231 Consulting the friend within 232 Choosing sides 233 Handling Your Emotions (E) 234 Holding the dress rehearsal 235 Talking to yourself 235 Running and Reviewing (R) 236 Part 4: Rebuilding Connections 239 Chapter 15: Working Through Loss, Grief, and Mourning 241 Losing What You Care About 242 Losing someone 243 Transitioning through life 245 Facing the challenges of isolation 247 Breaking up is so hard to do 248 Working Through Grief 249 Reconstructing the relationship 250 Rolling through roles 253 Chapter 16: Relationship Enhancement 255 The Depression-Rejection Connection 256 Exaggerating the negative 256 Looking for negative feedback 257 Fighting off constructive criticism 258 Pursuing Positives 258 Giving compliments 259 Doing nice things 259 Planning positive times together 260 Introducing nice into your everyday routine 261 Defeating Defensiveness 262 Trying the Checking It Out strategy 263 Depersonalizing 264 Getting Your Message Across 267 Using the I Messages technique 267 Creating buffers 268 Defusing criticism 268 Putting the techniques to work 269 Part 5: Fighting the Physical Foe: Biological Therapies 271 Chapter 17: Prescribing Pleasure 273 Hammering Depression: Choosing the Right Tool 274 Exploring the Medication Option 275 Taking medication the right way 277 Opting out of medication 278 Working with Your Doctor to Find the Correct Medication 279 The Seductive Myth of Chemic.