Introduction 1 About This Book 1 Foolish Assumptions 2 Icons Used in This Book 2 Beyond the Book 3 Where to Go from Here 3 Part 1: Dissecting Distress and Preparing a Plan 5 Chapter 1: Sorting Out Symptoms of Anxiety and Depression 7 Dwelling on Negative Thoughts 8 Blue and Anxious Behavior 10 Physical Funkiness 11 Emotions of Anxiety and Depression 12 Reflecting upon Relationships 13 Plotting Your Personal Problems Profile 14 Choosing Your Challenge 16 When and Where to Get More Help 17 Chapter 2: Discovering the Beginnings 21 Biological and Genetic Influences 21 Plotting Out a Lifeline 23 Surveying Current Stress 31 Drawing Conclusions 33 Chapter 3: Overcoming Obstacles to Change 35 Change-Blocking Beliefs 35 Detecting beliefs standing in your way 36 Blasting through beliefs blocking your path 39 Searching for Self-Sabotage 41 Stopping self-sabotage 42 Rewriting your self-sabotaging scripts 44 Chapter 4: Minding Your Moods 47 Deciphering Body Signals 47 Connecting the Mind and Body 50 Putting Events, Feelings, and Sensations Together 51 Becoming a Thought Detective 53 Part 2: Thinking About Thinking: Thought Therapy 59 Chapter 5: Untangling Twisted Thinking 61 Introducing the Reality Scramblers 62 Recording Reality Scramblers on Thought Trackers 64 Making the Wrong Judgment 67 Shoulding on yourself 68 Making critical comparisons 69 Tagging yourself with loathsome labels 71 The Blame Game 74 Doing What You Can to Solve the Problem 76 Chapter 6: Indicting and Rehabilitating Thoughts 79 From Arraignment to Conviction: Thought Court 79 Examining a sample case in Thought Court 80 Putting your thoughts on trial 83 Reviewing more Thought Court cases 86 After the Verdict: Replacing and Rehabilitating Your Thoughts 88 Getting a little help from a friend 89 Traveling to the future 91 Recalculating risks 93 Imagining the worst 96 Reflections on Chapter 6 99 Chapter 7: Looking at Problematic Assumptions 101 Examining Unhelpful Beliefs 102 Recognizing your problematic assumptions 103 How assumptions work 106 The origins of assumptions 108 Changing Your Assumptions 109 Distinguishing the past from the present 109 Tallying up costs and benefits 112 Taking direct action against problematic assumptions 115 Chapter 8: Managing Mindfulness and Achieving Acceptance 119 Making Space for Meditation 120 Thoughts are just thoughts 120 Practicing meditation 120 Start by Losing Your Mind! 121 Distinguishing between observing and evaluating 121 Tuning in and tuning out mind chatter 124 Playing with your mind chatter 125 Arriving at Acceptance 127 Connecting with Now 129 Part 3: Actions Against Angst: Behavior Therapy 133 Chapter 9: Facing Feelings: Avoiding Avoidance 135 What''s Wrong with Avoidance? 136 How do you avoid? 138 Interrupting avoidance 140 Exposure: Jumping in Feet First 141 Identifying your fears 141 Developing an exposure plan 141 Chapter 10: Lifting Mood Through Exercise 145 How Much Is Enough? 145 The Case for Health Improvement 147 Fitting Exercise into Your Life 149 Setting your personal goal 150 Committing to health 151 What to Do When Willpower Wilts 151 Fighting demotivating thoughts 151 Keeping track of your progress 153 Chapter 11: Entertaining Enjoyment 157 What''s Your Pleasure? 157 Poisonous Pleasures 160 Pleasure Busters 161 Deciding to deserve fun 161 Finding fun frivolous? 162 Pleasure-pooping predictions 164 Chapter 12: Moving and Tackling Life''s Problems 167 The Motivation Myth 167 Organizing Your Problem with S.O.C.S. 170 Sizing things up (S) 170 Collecting options (O) 172 Considering consequences (C) 173 Selecting the most reasonable options 175 Reviewing your work 176 Part 4: Focus on Physical Feelings 179 Chapter 13: Sleeping Soundly for Emotional Health 181 Recognizing the Importance of Sleep 182 Tracking Your Sleep 183 Sleep Guidelines 184 Drinking and eating before bed 185 Bedtime routines 185 Sleep setting 185 Associations and Sleep 186 Relaxation and Sleep 187 Dream Demons 188 Thinking About Sleep 189 Making Sleep More Efficient 190 My Sleep Plan 192 Chapter 14: Making the Medication Decision 193 To Take or Not to Take 194 Preparing Your Prescriber 196 Sizing Up Side Effects 199 Part 5: Relationship Therapy 201 Chapter 15: Restoring Relationships 203 Revealing the Emotion-Relationship Connection 204 Enhancing Your Relationship 205 Talking together 206 Delightful doings 208 Dealing with Relationship Loss 210 Moving on 211 Becoming active 211 Chapter 16: Smoothing Out Conflict 215 Overriding Defensiveness 215 Shining light on your defensive behavior 217 Check, please 218 Don''t refuse to defuse 219 Discovering the Problem Isn''t All About You 220 Talking About the Tough Stuff 221 Shifting the focus with I Messages 221 Softening the blow through buffering 222 Part 6: Looking Beyond Anxiety and Depression 225 Chapter 17: Reining in Relapse 227 Sizing Up Your Risk of Relapse 227 Not Letting Relapse Sneak Up on You 229 Having a Fire Extinguisher Ready 231 Keeping the Ball Rolling 235 Doing the right things 235 Disrupting satisfaction interrupters 237 Chapter 18: Promoting Positives 241 Focusing on Gratitude 242 Keeping track of the things that make you grateful 242 Writing testimonials 243 Making the World a Bit Nicer 246 Letting Go 248 Exercising Self-Control 250 Discovering What''s Really Important 251 Finding Meaning Before Your Funeral 253 Part 7: The Part of Tens 255 Chapter 19: Ten Reasons to Seek Additional Support 257 You Feel Hopeless 257 You Feel Like Ending Your Life 258 You''re Getting into Trouble at Home 258 You''re Having Trouble at Work or School 258 You Want to Isolate from Others 259 You''re Abusing Drugs or Alcohol 259 You Feel Overly Agitated 259 You Can''t Control Your Temper 260 You Can''t Get Motivated to Do Anything 260 Family and Friends Worry About You 260 Chapter 20: Ten Ways to Help a Loved One with Anxiety or Depression 261 Listening without Judging 261 Learning More 262 Staying in Touch 262 Separating the Emotion from the Person 262 Offering a Hand with Finding Help 263 Providing Hope 263 Taking a Walk 263 Helping with Daily Chores 264 Not Blaming Yourself 264 Taking Care of Yourself 264 Index 265.