Generation Me 1 You Don''t Need Their Approval: The Decline of Social Rules Getting dressed in the morning is a fundamentally different experience today than it was forty years ago. For all of Generation Me''s lifetime, clothes have been a medium of self-expression, an individual choice in a range of alternatives and comfort. Contrast this to past decades, when men wore ties most of the time and women did not leave the house without crisp white gloves and a tight girdle. Pictures of crowds in the early 1960s show quaint sights like men wearing three-piece suits at baseball games and ladies lined up in identical-length skirts. To GenMe, these images look like people on an alien planet-who wears a suit to a baseball game? Even our shoes are different. Today''s casual footwear is called tennis shoes because people once wore them only to play tennis or basketball. Not even kids wore these types of shoes on the street-their shoes were made of stiff leather, just like adults''. Now that''s all but forgotten.
Except in the most formal of workplaces, few men wear suits to work anymore, and virtually no one wears them to baseball games. Women have (thankfully) abandoned wearing tight girdles and white gloves everywhere they go (and many young women don''t even know what a girdle is). The trend toward more informal dress has accelerated in the past ten years, with many companies opting for "business casual" and others going for just plain casual. The trend reached all the way to the top in July 2005, when about half the members of the Northwestern University women''s lacrosse team wore flip-flops during their White House visit, resulting in a picture of the president of the United States standing next to several young women wearing shoes that were once reserved for walking on sand or showering in skuzzy gymnasiums. Although most people still want to look good, we are a much more informal and accepting society than we once were. This is a perfect illustration of generational trends in attitudes, as the entire point in dressing up is to make a good impression on others and elicit their approval. You don''t dress formally for yourself or for your comfort; if you really wanted to do things "your way" and just for yourself, you''d wear jeans to work. And, of course, many of us already do.
Holiday card, Minnesota, 1955. Not only are the clothes formal, but so is the posing and demeanor. The perfect family was proper and composed. The strict rules of previous decades went far beyond appearance. Beneath the wool suits and tailored hats, yesterday''s men and women were bound by another type of conformity. Male or female, you were considered strange if you did not marry by age 25 and even stranger if you married outside your race or religion. It was expected that you would have children-it was not considered a choice. Your race and sex dictated your fate and behavior.
When war came, you went to fight if you were male and able. Overall, duty and responsibility were held more important than individual needs and wants. There were certain things you did, certain things you said, and certain things you didn''t talk about. End of story. Holiday card, Massachusetts, 2004. Formal clothing is no longer necessary to make a good impression. It is now more important to be relaxed, natural, and happy. Today, few of these rules apply.
We are driven instead by our individual needs and desires. We are told to follow our dreams, to pursue happiness above all else. It''s OK to be different, and you should do what''s right for you. Compared to Boomers in 1973, GenMe is twice as likely to agree with the statement "There is no single right way to live." Young people say that the most important quality a child can learn is "to think for himself or herself," and only half as many young people as old say that obedience is a good lesson for children. The choices of the individual are now held so paramount that the most common advice given to teenagers is "Just be yourself." (Not that long ago, it was more likely to be "Be polite.") Filmmaker Kevin Smith (Clerks) says, "My generation believes we can do almost anything.
My characters are free: no social mores keep them in check." Or take Melissa, 20, who says, "I couldn''t care less how I am viewed by society. I live my life according to the morals, views, and standards that I create." This is the social trend-so strong it''s really a revolution-that ties all of the generational changes together in a neat, tight bundle: do what makes you happy, and don''t worry about what other people think. It is enormously different from the cultural ethos of previous decades, and it is a philosophy that GenMe takes entirely for granted. "As long as I believe in myself, I really do not care what others think," says Rachel, 21. GENERATIONS AT THE CINEMA This ethos appears frequently in popular movies; my favorite examples involve what I call "the apparent time traveler." The main character in these films is supposed to be a real person in the 1950s, but he or she actually represents the enlightened voice of the twenty-first century, which makes him (or her) the hero of the film.
In 2003''s Mona Lisa Smile, Julia Roberts plays a professor at Wellesley College in 1953. Soon after arriving, she rallies her students against the restrictions of early marriage and training for motherhood. When she critiques sexist advertising during a class, we in the audience all know exactly what she is doing, but few people in the 1950s would have seen it before-or even thought to do it. Roberts''s character has clearly taken the time traveler shuttle to the future and absconded with a copy of the 1987 feminist antiadvertising film Still Killing Us Softly. The Majestic, released in 2001, is an even worse movie. Jim Carrey''s character, a Hollywood screenwriter, gets blacklisted and takes refuge in a small town. After he is asked to testify, he manages to convince the entire town that McCarthyism is bad and that free speech is our most treasured right. When I watched this movie (I was on a plane; it was not a matter of free will), my mouth dropped almost to the floor as the whole town united behind the accused writer and the main female character said, "It doesn''t really matter if you are a Communist or not-this is America and you can be one if you want to.
It''s nobody''s business." Uh, not really. Had this actually been the 1950s, an accused Communist would have been everybody''s business. Movies that admit to time travel are somewhat more enjoyable. In Pleasantville, two teenagers from 1998 help a 1950s town find passion and the freedom of ideas. Every character who discovers an individualistic freedom like sex or intellectual questioning instantly turns from black and white into color. The film sinks into predictability once discrimination against the "colored" people begins. (Get it?) Back to the Future, probably the only good movie among these four, also promotes the individualistic ethos but has a better story.
When Marty McFly travels from 1985 back to 1955, he finds that his father George lacks assertiveness and mumbles a lot. Marty teaches George to stand up for himself, and, in a fit of sudden self-confidence, George punches the local bully and gets the girl who will become Marty''s mother. When Marty returns to 1985, his parents are now successful, rich, and still in love with each other. George has even become a published novelist. ("If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything," he says, repeating Marty''s radical-for-1955 advice.) Believing in yourself has clearly paid off. Other movies travel across cultures rather than time, but they promote the same message. In 2002''s Bend It Like Beckham, an Asian-Indian girl living in London wants to play soccer.
Her parents, already taken aback that their older daughter did not have an arranged marriage, want the younger Jess to learn to cook and be a proper young lady. The plot comes to a head when Jess must shuttle back and forth between a game and her sister''s wedding. By the end of the movie, Jess wants to join a professional women''s soccer team and move to America. Her parents, finally convinced that it''s right for Jess to follow her dreams, reluctantly agree. The overall message of all of these movies-whether they travel in time or cultures-is to rebel against restrictive social mores. Don''t follow the rules; do whatever makes you happy. And sometimes you don''t even need to travel. The biggest box-office draw in late 2004 and early 2005 was Meet the Fockers, the sequel to the highly successful comedy Meet the Parents.
The movie revolves around the culture clash between the conservative Byrnes family and the hippie Focker family. The Fockers provide most of the comedy in the film, with their sex therapy business, their leather sandals, and their display of their son''s ninth-place ribbons (because, they say, "It''s not about winning-it''s about what''s in your heart"). But by the end of the movie, the Fockers are not the ones who have been convinced to change-it''s the straightlaced Byrnes family who learns from them. Mr. Byrnes, played to crusty perfection by Robert De Niro, learns to loosen up and show emotion toward his daughter. He also decides that it might be good for him and his wife to enjoy more physical affection in their marriage, and puts some of Mrs. Focker''s sex tips to good use. Hippies may be laughable, but they teach us how to live.
No need to walk around all uptight like that-which, of course, you must be if you''re not a hippie. I''m exaggerating a bit, but the movie does make it very clear which message is paramount, and it''s definitely Let It All Hang Out. These movies dra.