How to Push a Perambulator is an indispensable tome for emergent and inexpert mothers. This miscellany provides the requisite knowledge with which a lady may efficiently produce and raise a child, whilst maintaining an unruffled composure. Some years of experience and observation have convinced the authors, Allison Vale and Alison Rattle, that modern mothers, almost without exception, simply do not possess the necessary skills. This book is the means by which they would intend to rectify that miserable situation, and furnish all with the advantage of their scholarship. From conception ('How to Produce a Son and Heir'), to adolescence ('How to Lace up Your Daughter'), the essential ('How to Break a Child's Will') and the bizarre ('How to Avoid the Delivery of Monstrous Babies and Rabbits'), this is a humorous romp through the darker, more obscure and frankly ridiculous aspects to the lost arts of motherhood.