The Kitchen Table Is a Sacred Place If the firehouse were a living organism, the kitchen would be its heart. The kitchen table is essential to the well-being of every firefighter. Not because it is where they eat, but because it is where they bond. The kitchen table is where firefighters--like families during the holidays--meet, talk, and celebrate. And when they talk, they talk about everything: sports, their children, weekend excursions, and even topics considered taboo to broach in the workplace, such as politics, religion, and racial justice. Why not talk about these topics in the workplace? The answer is simply because every war in the history of the world was fought over those subjects, and millions have died because the opposing parties were not able to settle their differences without drawing their swords. In the fire service, taboo discussions are commonplace because of the nature of the work. These people fight fires and risk their lives together.

There is no room to contemplate political correctness when you are running into a burning building. They feel that if they are willing to risk death and risk having their children grow up without them because they answered a call for help from a stranger, then they have earned the right to talk about whatever the hell they wanted to talk about. So, right or wrong, that''s what they usually do. The kitchen table is also a place where young firefighters become familiar with their department''s history and traditions, usually in the form of stories from the old-timers. Some stories are funny, others are sad, and many could be classified as war stories. When a fisher tells the tale of his greatest catch, every time the story is told, the struggle becomes more intense and the fish even bigger; the same phenomenon happens when firefighters tell the tales of the biggest fires of their careers. Firefighters also have random conversations about nothing important at all. For example, one morning, a firefighter I knew asked the shift what the most satisfying sound in the world was.

As they went around the kitchen table, each came up with a different answer, which included a baby laughing, the crack of a wooden baseball bat, ocean waves rolling along the shoreline, rain on a tin roof, a golf ball hitting the bottom of the cup, and (of course) the sound of a fire engine siren. This became a contest, and the unanimous winner was the sound of sizzling bacon. Although the crew had planned on cooking eggplant for lunch that day, they decided to make bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwiches instead, saving the eggplant for dinner. At the kitchen table, firefighters also talk about their fire and medical calls, which they refer to as runs. During those conversations, they conduct informal postincident discussions about the jobs they had on their previous tours, which imparts a psychological significance to the firehouse kitchen. Unfortunately, until recent times, a stigma had been placed on mental health issues among those in the fire service. When firefighters gather around the kitchen table, however, conversations happen. When conversations happen, relationships form.

When relationships form, real conversations about thoughts and feelings replace trivial conversations (about the joy of the sound of sizzling bacon, the score of last night''s football game, etc.). An outsider may view firefighters as brave and fearless, but the kitchen table in a healthy firehouse is a place of vulnerability and healing. Firefighters witness untimely death, trauma, heartbreak, and pain--to a degree beyond which most people ever will. This can lead to posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The weight that first responders must carry is a heavy one. Any distressing event can cause emotional challenges for a firefighter, but the most tragic ones, where lives are altered, affect them the most. Promote honest dialogue among coworkers.

Make sure that everyone is aware of the common signs and symptoms of PTSD: · Depression and feelings of hopelessness · Feelings of mistrust, betrayal, and loneliness · Recurring flashbacks · Suicidal thoughts · Substance abuse Even though some first responders realize they are suffering from PTSD and get help immediately, many more--far too many--ignore the signs altogether, which only makes matters worse. Use your time at the firehouse kitchen table wisely. The conversations you have there can lead to a better life.