No Crushed Sugar Cane How to Treat Others My mother was an excellent teacher (and, subsequently, school principal). This was due mainly to her wonderful ability as a communicator. As a mother, she was concerned with values. This has influenced me deeply. As the years went by, I became increasingly convinced that without a strong value system, one cannot live a life that is truly meaningful. One way my mother would communicate values to us was through stories - which often (as in this reflection) constituted "word pictures" and which were all the more vivid and memorable as a result. I think that stories are powerful teaching tools, especially about life. People tend to remember stories as opposed to arid, technical facts.

Stories also furnish the opportunities to convey values "in action", as it were. It is true that each person''s experience is different. However, one person''s experience may still be valuable insofar as it contains a kernel of wisdom, the value of which is demonstrated in the life of the person concerned. At the very least, it might provide encouragement to those who hear the story. One such story which has been indelibly etched in my memory is that of sugar cane - or, more accurately, crushed sugar cane. Sugar cane juice is a common drink in Singapore. When I was young, I would sometimes watch these vendors (often by the roadside, occasionally in coffee shops) pushing cut sugar cane stems through a machine. The stems would be crushed as they were run through the machine, with delicious sugar cane juice flowing down into a container below.

These stems were passed repeatedly through the machine until they were crushed utterly flat. I was always fascinated by how the vendor would almost invariably take these flattened pieces of sugar cane - already long devoid of any juice - and pour some water over them before running them through the machine one last time. This was, presumably, to extract the very last drops of sugar cane juice possible. And then the inevitable next action - casting the now really pathetic-looking pieces of crushed sugar cane into a wicker basket which, when full, would be emptied and its contents ultimately carted away to the rubbish dump. My mother constantly cautioned usnot to treat people like crushed sugar cane. More specifically, she would tell us that we ought not to use people and then cast them away when they were no longer of any personal use to us. She would advise us not to squeeze personal benefits from people like juice from the sugar cane stem but should always be polite and respectful to all, regardless of who they are. Some might cite the view of Immanuel Kant that we should treat people as ends and not as means.

Others might speak of the Golden Rule that we should do unto others what we would like others to do unto us. However, to a young Singaporean boy who enjoyed sugar cane juice, my mother''s imagery was a far more effective way of conveying the same message. There is another - and closely related - lesson. Just as I enjoy sugar cane juice, I have also learnt to be appreciative of people - in particular, the kindness and assistance that they render to me. Such kindness and assistance entails effort and (on occasion) even "crushing" effort. Many of us tend to take kindness for granted; some are even worse - they take kindness as a sign of weakness. In my view, this is unacceptable. As I have just mentioned, the complete opposite should be the case.

We should all learn to appreciate people more - particularly those who help us and are kind to us. I would just like to conclude by observing that, decades later, when I became a Christian, I found that this was how the Christian faith required me to act as well. You see, it is a natural human trait in most people to be selfish, resulting in a tendency to make use of others like crushed sugar cane. This is an imperfect world. Indeed, I must confess that I found it very difficult to conduct myself selflessly. However, after becoming a Christian, it became a little easier as I could draw on the wisdom and guidance of God. This is not to say that I became a much better person. But what I will say is that it made it a lot easier not to treat people as crushed sugar cane and, on the contrary, enabled me to be more appreciative of others and not take them for granted.

Do not treat people like crushed sugar cane, using them and then casting them aside. Learn, instead, to appreciate them more.