McSweeney's editors combed the archives and have commissioned the very best humor writers to help us build the ultimate guide to surviving parenthood. Maybe you're searching for self-care tips for your toddler, or trying to decipher remote learning tutorial emails from your middle schooler's principal. Maybe you're wondering, Am I the Worst Possible Parent? Could be, but you won't know until your child starts writing confessional poetry. In the meantime, let McSweeney's humorists guide you every step of the way, from in vitro to empty nest. This anthology will feature some of our most-popular parenting humor pieces from McSweeney's Internet Tendency and loads of all-new advice, musings, and more in our trademark cutting and satirical voice. An essential gift for parents, be they rookies or seasoned vets, aspiring helicopter moms or disaffected soccer dads, or anyone who needs something to read while hiding in the bathroom for some "me" time. Includes: N Nihilist Dad Jokes Are You the Worst Fucking Parent? Decoding Your Teenager's Glares: A Comprehensive Guide "We're Pregnant," Said a Man Romantic Tips to Help Spice Things Up for Couples With Four Children and Two Full-Time Jobs Hello, I'll Be Your Toddler Tour Guide For This Trip Out The Front Door Our Daughter Isn't a Selfish Brat; Your Son Just Hasn't Read Atlas Shrugged Please Let Me Put My Disease-Riddled Hands All Over Your Baby! Why I Decided Not to Have an OBGYN and Let Wendy From Work Handle My Prenatal Care Instead In Retrospect, the Theme for Chad's 4th Birthday Party Should Not Have Been "Stanford Prison Experiment" Hey, Mom and Dad, I Made a Delicate, Structurally Unsound Craft That You Get to Carry Home In the Rain Your School District's Reopening Survey I'm The World's Best Dad Because Once I Watched My Kid When My Wife Wasn't Around How to De-Feralize Your Children for Back-to-School I Don't Know What the Big Deal About Having a Baby Is.