Introduction Chapter 1: ?Oh, Dear Lord, Why Didst Thou Ever Inspire Me to Go to Puerto Rico to Teach??: About the Selected American Authors Chapter 2: ?They Considered Them Conquered Animals?: On How Colonialism Permeates All Chapter 3: ?Living from Hand to Mouth?: On the Poverty of Puerto Ricans Chapter 4: ?Neither Aliens Nor Americans?: The Convoluted Politics of the Colony Chapter 5: ?We Think We Are Better Than Other People?: On the Onset of the Relationships Between Colonizers and Colonized Chapter 6: ?From the Yellow Pine of Castile to the Mahogany of Africa?: On the Racial Types and Social Classes Chapter 7: ?Song, Laughter and Mañana?: On the Myth of the Lazy Puerto Ricans Chapter 8: ?Lust Was Written in the Very Faces of the People?: On the Morality of Puerto Ricans Chapter 9: ?Known by Their Fruits?: On Violence, Illegality, and Policing Chapter 10: ?The Body Was There but Not the Soul?: On the Puerto Ricans? Religious Practices Chapter 11: ?A Poor Specimen of Manhood?: On Matters of Health and Death Chapter 12: ?Satan Himself Would Dance If He Could Hear Them?: On Puerto Rican Entertainments Chapter 13: ?We Iss One Happy People?: On Puerto Ricans? Values and How They See Life Chapter 14: ?People Who Will Always ?Be There??: On Puerto Ricans? Relationships with Family, Friends, and Strangers Chapter 15: ?Those Indescribable Eyes?: Puerto Rican Women Chapter 16: ?Bright-Eyed Little Fellows?: Puerto Rican Children Chapter 17: ?They Want Rice and Beans First?: Food, Drinks, and Smokes Chapter 18: ?Dear Me! What a Busy, Noisy Place!?: On Commerce and Animal Treatment ?To Be Born in Porto Rico Is, for Me, a Privilege?: Conclusion Appendix 1: General Nelson A. Miles Proclamation Appendix 2: Bibliography of Analyzed American Authors Appendix 3: American Authors? Informative Table Notes Works Cited Index.