Contents Chapter 1: Introduction We present our goals in writing this book Chapter 2: Background It is important to understand who our mother was, how her personality affected her experience with long-term care, and what values made her experience with long-term care all the more pathetic. Chapter 3: The Stroke The immediate treatment for her stroke took place in a community hospital. We then had to move her from Florida to New York. This care can be inappropriate for frail confused older people. Chapter 4: Rehabilitation We transferred her to a rehabilitation hospital; such care may benefit older people, at least up to a point. Chapter 5: Assisted Living We placed our mother in an assisted living facility that failed to meet her care needs. It emphasizes the lack of responsiveness and the poor coordination with medical care. The assisted living management insisted that we hire our own private duty aides.

Chapter 6: Dementia Unit We moved our mother to an assisted living facility that operated a specific unit designed to oversee persons with dementia and the frustrations that ensued. Here again there were many problems coordinating her care and again we had to hire our own aides. Chapter 7: Nursing Home Our mother's last few months were spent in a nursing home, where she got better care but in a more sterile environment. Chapter 8: Doctors, Other Medical Personnel and Hospitals The full range of our experience focuses attention on the frustrations of dealing with the medical system: the poor communication, the lack of coordination, and the inconvenience. However, not all of these experiences were bad. Several physicians were kind and considerate, but the system made life harder than it needed to be. Chapter 9: Informal Care The experiences of giving care to a family member never ended even when our mother was being cared for in settings that were supposed to provide such care.