Introduction 1 Part 1: The Basics of Attachment 5 CHAPTER 1: Understanding Attachment 7 CHAPTER 2: Defining What Attachment Is (and Isn't) 17 CHAPTER 3: Understanding Attachment and the Nervous System 27 Part 2: Differentiating among Attachment Styles 37 CHAPTER 4: Exploring Secure Attachment 39 CHAPTER 5: Exploring Anxious Attachment 51 CHAPTER 6: Exploring Avoidant Attachment 61 CHAPTER 7: Exploring Disorganized Attachment 75 Part 3: Attachment Theory in Real Life 83 CHAPTER 8: Recognizing Where Attachment Shows Up 85 CHAPTER 9: Diving Deeper into Attachment 97 CHAPTER 10: When Attachment Styles Clash 103 Part 4: Moving toward Healing 113 CHAPTER 11: Noticing the Cycle 115 CHAPTER 12: Identifying and Managing Feelings 125 CHAPTER 13: Healing Your Relationship with Yourself 137 CHAPTER 14: Healing Your Relationship with Others 155 CHAPTER 15: Building Safety 167 CHAPTER 16: Establishing a Culture of Communication 179 Part 5: Putting the Tools into Practice 187 CHAPTER 17: Exploring Tools for Couples 189 CHAPTER 18: Working with a Therapist 201 CHAPTER 19: Knowing Your Triggers 209 CHAPTER 20: Dating with Attachment in Mind 217 Part 6: The Part of Tens 223 CHAPTER 21: Ten Key Principles of Attachment Theory 225 CHAPTER 22: Ten Attachment-Based Affirmations 229 CHAPTER 23: Ten Ways to Self-Soothe When You're in Attachment Activation 235 Index 241.